A Hat in Time: Welcome to Mafia Time - PART 1 - Game Grumps

13 days ago
The number one vacation destination! Click to Subscribe ▻ http://bit.ly/GrumpSubscribe Want updates on what's new and coming soon? Our email list!

English subtitle

[Arin]: Hey I'm Grump!
[Dan]: I'm not so Grump!
[Both]: And we're the Game Grumps!
[Arin]: Welcome back to Game Grumps
[Dan]: Welcome to Game Grumps
[Dan]: I don't know what this is.
[Arin]: This is called a hat in time.
[Dan]: What does that mean
[Arin]: This was another independently developed video game.
[Dan]: Okay.
[Arin]: that was in development for a long time
[Dan]: Is it related to The Cat in the Hat?
[Dan]: The Cat in the Hat in time?
[Arin]: Sure (unamused)
[Dan]: I hope it is.
[Arin]: You know what? I'll just say sure.
[Dan]: Because unless everything... I don't want to do anything
[Dan]: that's not in some way based on a (Arin cuts him off)
[Arin]: Right
[Arin]: So if it, if it makes you feel any better to play this game then yes, great
[Dan]: Mhhmm
[Dan]: Ah, gears for breakfast. Part of a balanced meal
[Arin]: *Chuckles*
[Arin]: It's a, it's a love letter to GameCube games
[Dan]: Wake up lady
[Arin]: and to platformers
[Dan]: I'mma stuff gears in your fat face
[Arin]: *chuckling* What if it just was like *buzzer sound* *screaming*
[Both laugh]
[Arin]: Runs out of- Oh it is, haha
[Game]: Welcome to yet another day of Space Adventure!
[Game]: You are only five lightyears-
[Arin]: She's gotta take a shower.
[Dan]: Oh, she's a cutie
[Dan]: Nah, she's just gonna roll out of bed and start an adventure. All stank and shit
[Arin]: Dude, I can't do that without having a shower: a morning shower.
[Dan]: Oh god.
[Arin]: Got to get my morning breakfast on, gotta get some nosh
[Dan]: I believe there's a Daniel Tosh thing about this, but-
[Arin]: Daniel nosh?
[Dan]: Uh, yeah. Have you ever- Yay Pillows!
[Arin]: *laughs*, look at this whoo! Whoo!
Whoo! (gradually more intense)
[Dan]: Have you ever showered, and then you have to take a shit, and you're like "Fuck man!"
[Both Laugh]
[Arin]: I don't mind
[Dan]: I believe his statement is like, "You've just got to start your day over."
[Arin]: I, well, I wash my asshole quite, uhh, extremely.
[Dan]: Yeah, you might even say way too much.
[Arin]: No I, I fucking love washing my asshole
[Dan]: Yeah, I know. I know, Arin.
[Arin]: I'm like a ashwhole wassing f-
[Arin]: (Trying again to say it) Ass- Asshole Wa-
[Dan]: (w/southern accent) I'mma asshole washin fool.
[Arin]: Oh look I've got a little punch, and everything. Look at me go! *makes laser noises*
[Dan]: Man,
[Dan]: you look like a...
[Dan]: part of your spaceship looks like a casino in Vegas
[Dan]: You know what it looks like? It looks like the movie theater in Dead Rising. Remember?
[Arin]: Oh, yeah
[Dan]: yeah.
[Arin]: Got a very colorful vibe to it. Let's play some vidja games.
[Dan]: This is your spaceship?
[Arin]: I guess so.
[Dan]: I love it
[Arin]: I'm going through time with a hat on.
[Dan]: Hello friendly hockey puck!
[Arin]: Hence "The Hat in Time"
[Dan]: Hmm (contemplative)
[Arin]: Am I like? Oh (disappointed) *chuckles*
[Dan]: Oh, well then
[Arin]: Just a thing for screenshots, I guess.
[Dan]: Hope you had fun.
[Arin]: All right, Let's talk to this
[Arin]: (drawing his words out) My mom said if I stand too close it hurts my eyes
[Dan]: But what does she know? And where is she? And where am I? *chuckles*
[Arin]: I can't see! My eyes hurt.
[Dan]: She's got purdy (pretty) eyes
[Arin]: Oh, Ooo, Oh. What the heck was that noise?
[Arin]: (reading) Use the hat to find your goal.
[Dan]: Sweet. I'm into it.
[Dan]: Oh.
[Arin]: Is this guy trying to...?
[Dan]: Sir? You're in space
[Dan]: seems dangerous to open this
[Arin]: Um... let me in please?
[Arin]: Uh oh
[Dan]: No one's home.
[Arin]: Yeah *chuckles* uhh...
[Dan]: I'm not here. *laughs*
[Arin]: But the space is gonna leak in.
[Dan]: Yeah
[Dan]: Ha ha. (mocking)
[Arin]: *Bursts out laughing* Woah
[Arin]: Oh he's coming back. Oh, no everyone's gunna die
[Dan]: Damn.
[Sassy Dan]: Oh, now it bothers you? Alright well.
[Arin]: But not my spaceship
[Arin]: You know...
[Dan]: Holy crap
[Arin]: I feel that this game is very grounded in reality
[Dan]: Yep
[Dan]: This is, this is why I hate the space mafia
[Dan]: I'm just gonna come out and say it.
[Arin]: This is why I hate hats
[Dan]: Hmm
[Arin]: Whenever you wear them something bad happens.
[Dan]: Let's watch the upskirt shot guys. Let's. Can we?
[Arin]: She's wearing pants!
[Dan]: Oh, well...
[Dan]: Listen! I didn't say it wasn't hot!
[Arin]: *chuckles*
[Dan]: Welcome to mafia town!
[Arin]: Yeah, that seems very welcoming.
[Both laugh]
[Dan]: (Over-pronouncing the Ps) It's a piece of cake to break a pretty pasta
[Arin]: Look at him go. Oh look I'm in mafia town. This is fucking great.
[Dan]: It's a piece of cake to bake some fuckin ragu just like mama.
[Arin]: Dude, it's like, uhh, it's like banjo kazoople, err, or
[Arin]: Mario's... Mario's sam show.
[Dan]: Can I tell you a little story from the road? Hello young lady with a mustache.
[Arin]: Yeah, sure.
[Dan]: Um... I was uh...
[Arin]: Oh, jeez,
[Dan]: I was walking around backstage, and one of the members of T.W.R.P., I will not say who, um...
[Dan]: I uh.. I saw... I - I
[Dan]: I opened the bathroom door, it was unlocked.
[Arin]: Uh huh.
[Dan]: And there he was in his boxers, and he turned around, um..
[Dan]: And he was like "whoa whoa woah". He had like... He only turned around from like the top
[Dan]: You know the torso stayed facing the other way. And, uh... I was like "Haha, finally!" You know,
[Dan]: As in like, "Finally I get to see you half nude" like "ha ha ha" And I closed the door. Later, I find out that apparently he was jacking off
[Arin]: *Laughs*
[Dan]: And he thought that I knew, and that's why he thought I said "Finally"
[Both laugh]
[Dan]: Which was extra funny
[Arin continues to laugh]
[Dan]: But I. It was. It was like the last thing that would have crossed my mind! Because A) he was so casual about it
[Arin]: Maybe its just from like years and years of like trying to avoid the parents.
[Dan]: Yeah, or just like being on the road and like...
[Dan]: Yeah whatever
[Arin]: It's fine
[Dan]: Yeah
[Dan]: And also, I was surprised- Oh wait, hold on
[Arin]: I don't care
[Dan]: Okay.
[Arin]: (mumbling) We're in some junk land, alright
[Dan]: Cool, works for me. Um...
[Dan]: But it also surprised me because like... he's a... I can't...
[Dan]: I can't even fathom being a stand-up jacker
[Dan]: You know what I mean?
[Arin]: Oh, I'm, I've done...
[Arin]: Sch, are you kidding me? I've done it everywhere, I've done it upside down
[Dan]: Oh, dude I have to...
[Dan]: I have to... I have to be sitting or lying down in a reclined, relaxed position.
[Arin]: Schhhh (super not amused by Dan's excessive jacking requirements)
[Dan]: Otherwise it feels like fucking work man.
[Arin]: Must not be very adventurous in bed.
[Dan]: Dude. Are you kidding?
[Dan]: When there's another person involved?
[Dan]: I'm like... I'm like The Hunchback of Notre Dame, and I'm on a quest
*This had been censored, we are sorry for the inconvenience, we can only imagine what horrible, horrible things Dan is saying here*
[Dan]: And, like... so
[Dan]: But it's... I don't know
[Dan]: There's... there's a lot of danger involved
[Dan]: I'm afraid like... if I was standing... I'm afraid my knees would buckle and uh...
[Arin chuckles]
[Dan]: Like I'll bang my head against the sink
[Arin]: Jesus
[Dan]: And then crack my skull open, and then I'm lying on the floor, and cumming and dying at the same time
[Arin]: *chuckles* You got fucking jelly legs?
[Dan]: That's no fun, I-
[Aron]: You're a pretty strong guy.
[Dan]: Thanks, bro. Thanks for noticing
[Dan]: I don't know! When I jizz like it's a... it's a full
[Dan]: Body, mind, and soul experience. And like every cell in my body goes like
[Dan]: Bluffluflllfulfufheh (deflation noise???)
[Dan]: Yeah
[Arin]: Thumpity Thumpity Thump
[Dan]: Yeah, I don't know it seems dangerous to me.
[Arin]: (reacting to the game) Oh. Ow, stop!
[Arin]: The fuck is going on man?
[Dan]: "In God We Trust" I like that. Does God have a flan for me?
[Arin]: Is this like a fish town? Fisherman town?
[Dan]: Yeah!
[Arin]: What the Hell is happening?
[Arin]: Okay, so I can't see this... this guy, he doesn't want me to see him.
[Dan]: Do you see me? No? Good.
[Arin]: I don't wanna give it up, it's pretty and shiny and makes me feel masculine.
[Dan]: (Reading the apron) Kiss the Cook
[Arin]: Uh-oh
[Dan]: Oh shit.
[Dan]: Now what?
[Arin]: Oh, shit.
[Dan]: Oh, dude beat him with the umbrella.
[Arin]: Yeah, I'm gonna get him, dude
[Dan]: This game is friggin adorable.
[Arin]: Get him!
[Arin]: It's hard to catch him.
[Dan]: Man, beating people with an umbrella is harder than one would have thought!
[Arin]: Got hi'!
[Dan]:You did- Wow, he's dead! You killed him.
[Arin]: Something came for you to mail today!
[Dan]: Congratulations
[Arin]: Deez Nuts
[Arin]: Nice.
[Arin]: I did it!
[Arin]: That was easy as pie.
[Arin]: Thank God we played this after fucking cuphead.
[Dan]: Oh my god! Yeah. Cuphead...
[Arin]: That's a breath of fresh air
[Dan]: Cuphead kinda broke us a little bit
[Arin]: A little bit.
[Dan]: It didn't break us, but it bent us pretty hard.
[Arin]: Contra levels have broken us.
[Dan]: Yeah Contra. Contra was actually mad. Cuphead, I was just like wow this is tough
[Arin chuckles]
[Arin]: Yay, I got a telescope!
[Arin]: Now I can... Now I can see the tip of my dick!
[Both laugh]
[Dan]: Well done, Arin.
[Dan]: Is that a roomba? Is that what that thing is?
[Arin]: Yeah, I think so
[Dan]: Thats great
[Dan]: At long last! The Boober
[Arin]: (Reading) Welcome to Mafia Town
[Dan]: Check!
[Dan]: and mate
[Arin]: Barrel Battle? Hmm that seems scary.
[Dan]: (yelling) Arin you gotta battle the barrel!
[Arin]: I don't want to! (Reading) She Came From Outer Space.
[Dan]: Oh, Sweet!
[Arin]: What the fuck?! Is that me?
[Dan]: Wow, act three!
[Dan]: Skipping over act two.
[Arin]: Oh, whoops. Was I not supposed to do that?
[Dan]: It's alright.
[Arin]: Oh, my bad.
[Dan]: I mean whatever is open to you
[Arin]: (blubbery voice) Oh! I wish I could see something!
[Dan]: I hope that giant, adorable mud monster doesn't kill us all.
[Dan]: (little girl voice) I'm here!
[Both chuckle]
[Arin]: (little girl voice) Mud monster appears!
[Arin]: Um.. Wow, this seems like a huge stage.
[Arin]: Hey, what's up? Oh sorry!
[Arin]: Ah! God! I'm sorry! Now I kill you!
[Arin yells]
[Arin]: Alright whatever
[Dan]: Wow, he's mad.
[Arin]: Whatever, I don't give a shit. I got an umbrella now.
[Arin]: Do I just have this umbrella forever?
[Dan]: I think so. I think it's your main weapon
[Arin]: Um... Okay, well I'm gonna keep going up then.
[Dan]: Cuz you stole it from a guy, and you beat him with it
[Arin]: Yeah sure, that's what you're doing. I have a feeling you're a certain member of T.W.R.P.
[Dan]: Yeah, right? Absolutely.
[Dan]: I see you bro. Don't think I've forgotten.
[Arin]: I didn't even think they had penises
[Dan]: Yeah
[Arin]: They're from the future and space
[Dan]: Yeah, they're robots, and/or a cat.
[Arin]: Hmm. Really narrows it down, doesn't it?
[Dan]: Sure does
[Both Laugh]
[Dan]: It wasn't the cat
[Arin keeps laughing]
[Arin]: Well now you've narrowed it down!
[Dan]: Yeah, at least to 75%
[Arin]: Okay,
[Arin]: Mmm, it's beautiful. Get this
[Arin]: Wow
[Arin]: What is the point of those?
[Dan]: Hit him with the umbrella!
[Arin]: That guy?
[Dan]: I think there's just like moments where you can just take in the prettiness
[Arin]: Oh, he doesn't give a shit
[Dan]: Nah he's fine.
[Arin]: He doesn't make squeaky noises. See? now I understand why I'm the mud monster: because I got covered in mud.
[Dan]: Ohhh (as if he'd just realised something)
[Arin]: (Reading) Sprint yarn!
[Dan]: (Reading) This yarn is looking ready to sprint.
[Dan]: Yeah. I'll, I'll take your word for it
[Arin]: Yeah, never seen yarn described in that manner.
[Arin]: Hey wake up! wake up!
[Dan]: Hey next time on Game Grumps!
[Arin]: Wake up! Wake up!
[Dan]: This is delightful. See you then!
[Arin]: Wake up!
[Dan]: Bye! (whispered)
[Arin]: He won't wake up